To-Do List

Sometimes I put too much pressure on myself to have my house in perfect order. like PERFECT ORDER. I can't relax unless everything is organized, everything. Bed made, every piece of laundry needs to folded, every weed outside needs to be pulled, every dish needs to be washed and put away, all my condiments in my fridge need to be organized and not a crumb on my counter? While I'm at work my desk has to be perfect or I can't concentrate on my job. So when my house isn't perfect all I can think about is what needs to be done and that leads to lots of stress and anxiety. I didn't used to be this way. Matter of fact, I used to be a really messy person. I wonder why I didn't care back then? When did I become so anal?

I think its my jobs fault. Its weird that I work from home and just because I work from home doesn't mean I have a lot of time. Hello I have a full time job, Mon-Fri 8am-5pm. I'm busy! So because I'm at home I put this pressure on myself to have a perfect house but I'm pretty sure if I had a traditional office job I wouldn't. Yes I'm at home but I'm not "AT" home.

So I'm doing an experiment. Im not going to clean on my "breaks" or "lunch break" during the work week anymore. What messes are left before bed time will be left until the next evening. My lunch breaks are now MY lunch breaks. I'm going to get out of the house even if it just means sitting in my backyard for an hour.

I need to create habbits of taking better care of myself especially before baby chings come into the picture. I can't expect my house to always be clean when I have kids so I need to break myself now.

I dont know if this will last. The load of laundry in the dryer is burning a hole in my skull and I didn't do my sunday bleaching routine yesterday?! Man and I can't stand the pile of shoes in the entry way or the wood dust on the harth... Maybe I shouldn't work in my living room.